Most adults know what it’s like to have compulsions interfere with something they really want to do. For bowhunters, marriage and a career can cut into your time in the field, and having children makes it even more difficult to go hunting. Suddenly, hunting goes from something you love to do, to something else to fit in with. Some bowhunters even shut it down entirely because it’s a hassle with everything else in their busy schedules.
Now, I have to be sensitive to the fact that everyone has different circumstances, but I also want to emphasize that being able to pursue bowhunting while raising a family has a lot to do with setting priorities, communicating well with your spouse and children, overcoming challenges, not giving up on your dreams and even finding ways to incorporate your children into your hunting lifestyle. I know – this doesn’t work for everyone. But if bowhunting is something you absolutely love, then maybe you just need to reevaluate the trajectory of your family life and make some changes. Bowhunting probably won’t look exactly like it did before starting a family, but it will probably look even better.
My sister, Clair Marshall, and her husband, Andrew, see this as true. They know what it’s like to go from childless bowhunting to juggling family life with daughters Timber and Haven while still pursuing their passion for bowhunting. Just as God blessed them with their two children, He also provides ways for Andrew and Clair to integrate the girls into their outdoor and hunting lifestyle. They are truly grateful that He does.
Here is their story. I hope you find it fascinating and if you have kids or plan to one day, maybe their story will open your mind to what bowhunting with a family can look like when you prioritize and plan.
Even with a 7-month-old baby in the blind, Clair and Andrew Marshall managed an archery double on these two gobblers.
Priorities and Perspectives
Sometimes, it’s easy to take for granted the opportunities that are readily available. If we could shoot all the time, we would eventually forget how lucky we are to be able to do so. But when we have limited time to hunt, we tend to pursue it with greater enthusiasm because we value those less frequent opportunities.
“We’ve started doing more outdoor activities now that we have kids,” Clair said. “Before, even though we had more time to hunt without the commitment of raising children, we often made excuses if it was too windy, too cold or too hot. Having kids could be the last excuse for us to retire from hunting, but instead, we jump at every chance we get to go hunting because we want to make the most of every opportunity.
“Our priorities and perspectives in life changed immediately when we had our first daughter, Timber. Before we had kids, we felt like we prioritized hunting and didn’t let other things get in the way, but now that we’ve seen this side — raising kids and hunting — we’re more committed to it than ever. We have decided that we want the outdoors and hunting to be priorities in our family.”
Andrew concluded Clair’s comments with his own perspective.
“Growing up,” he began, “I didn’t have the luxury of a father or family member who hunted and could take me hunting.” I don’t want our daughters to say that one day. Not only do I want to teach them to shoot as they grow up, but I also don’t want them to hear us making excuses. We want them to see us overcome challenges and pursue and accomplish our goals.”
Often, when Clair or Andrew take a deer, the parent who stayed to care for the child will bring the girls with them for recovery.
Continuous communication
Of course, nothing is easy about going bowhunting when you’re balancing work and family life. There is a lot of give and take between husband and wife that needs to happen to make it work logistically and there is certainly no room for selfishness. So how do Clair and Andrew find the balance needed to successfully raise children and do a good amount of hunting every spring and fall?
“Communication,” Andrew said. “We talk things out and stay on the same page. If we didn’t, none of us would be able to go hunting, and even if we could go, it wouldn’t be pleasant. There are many checks and balances that come with being a provider for my wife and our daughters. I need to be able to check all the boxes before I even think about walking out the door. It’s a challenge, but we love a challenge. We’re also becoming more mature as parents and more understanding of our daughters’ needs, which makes everything more efficient than it was a few years ago.”
Clair agreed that good communication is key to starting a family and going hunting.
“Communicating the specifics of each day is also important,” Clair said. “We don’t have a set schedule of who hunts on which days. We base our decision on what that particular day looks like with our weather and schedule. If the weather is better and it’s easier for me to go out, Andrew is happy to stay back while I shoot. If it’s not that nice or if I’ve already filled my tag, then he goes. It has nothing to do with our individual wants or needs. It’s a moment-by-moment assessment of our family’s needs.”
Andrew shared similar thoughts. “Our goal no. 1 is to provide for our daughters,” he said. “Their needs need to be met and they need a safe and comfortable environment.”
CHALLENGE
Again, no one said bowhunting while raising a family would be easy. The Marshalls said there are challenges specific to their individual roles as husband and wife, father and mother.
“For me,” Clair explained, “the challenge is recovering from having children side by side and many sleepless nights. The energy and physical aspects can be very difficult for me to get through sometimes. My other challenge is to I make sure everything in the house is in order before I leave Andrew and the girls to go hunting. I have to go through a quick mental checklist, which includes making sure the house is clean and things are taken, and that I have something planned for dinner. I don’t want to come home to a mess and I want it to be as easy as possible for Andrew because I know he’s tired from work.
“Another challenge I’ve been through is finding nursing. With Timber, I nurse him before I go hunting and then I have to come back at a certain time to do it again. Haven took to the bottle very well so Andrew could bottle feed her when needed. So there are specific challenges for each child.”
Clair went on to say that it might seem like it’s easier for a husband to leave and go hunting, but then she remembers that Andrew has weights on him that she doesn’t. Basically, she concluded that everything equals.
Andrew shared his individual challenges. Not only does he work outside the home and have National Guard commitments, but he also said, “Even though I have Clair’s blessing to go, I feel kind of guilty about hunting and enjoying the outdoors while she’s at home with the girls. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t be there, that I should be at home. Fortunately, Clair and I have a common goal: If we have open labels, our goal is to fill those labels and put the meat in the refrigerator. It helps to remember that.”
Inclusion of all
Andrew and Clair always take Lumber and now Haven to attract the deer they harvest. When they grow up, I’m sure they’ll look back fondly on the memories of exploring and finding Mom and Dad’s “dew,” as Timber Deer calls it. Since Clair and Andrew live away from the family and don’t put their children in childcare, the only way they can hunt together as husband and wife is by bringing the children. It’s not always glamorous, as the girls are too young to understand that you should be quiet in the woods.
“During turkey season, we sometimes hunt together and bring Timber and Haven with us,” Clair said. “They are still very young and can be loud, but we have a great time. While it’s good to stretch and challenge them a bit, we don’t want to make our girls extremely uncomfortable in the outdoors. We don’t want them to associate any negative memories with hunting.”
Andrew and Clair also take the girls scavenger hunts during the spring, and Timber already shows excitement with every shed they find. She likes horns.
Making hunting memories as a family
Some of the most special bowhunting memories have unique twists or involve friends and loved ones.
“The most special bowhunting experience I can think of is the turkey hunt we did when Timber was a baby,” Clair said. “At the time, we had the crazy idea of taking a 7-month-old baby turkey with us to hunt. It was the first turkey season after having a baby, and we just knew we wanted to include it.
“We really didn’t have high hopes, especially because Timber was in a chattering stage. But turkeys are less sensitive than deer to noises, especially when distracted by decoys. We went out a few different times and didn’t see much, but then it all came together beyond our wildest dreams. One afternoon a tom came to our decoys and was so mad he had no idea what was going on in the blind. I shot him and he went down in seconds next to the candy.
“We were marveling at the moment, and suddenly another tom pounced on the bait. He was torn between beating the jacket and the tom I had shot. While he was confused about this, Andrew handed Timber to me, took his bow and shot that tom. Although we’ve always talked about how cool it would be to double up on bows, we hadn’t done it before. To accomplish that with our 7-month-old daughter in the blind with us was incredible.”
While Andrew looks back on that hunt too, he called his first archery buck a key memory. Timber was only a few months old and he had a few close calls with money before it all came together.
“It was a brisk, cloudy mid-November morning,” he recalls. “Watching the buck come at me and feeling the adrenaline rush was an incredible experience. I remember putting the pin where I wanted and releasing the arrow. Claire came and helped me recover the amount with Timber tied behind her. She helped me as much as she could as we dragged that big buck about 400 yards. We were pretty stoked by the time we got him out of there.”
Final Thoughts
Life often gets in the way of things we want to do. But through smart planning and prioritization, many of us can still pursue our dreams on one level or another. Marshalls have taken this approach and hunting has never been more important to them than now that they are balancing family and the hunting lifestyle. Family matters, and so does bowhunting.
Venison is on the menu most evenings at the Marshall dinner table. And if it’s not venison, then it’s likely wild turkey.
Sidebar: Fruits of the Harvest
Venison – it’s what’s for dinner most days at the Marshall dinner table, and if it’s not venison, it’s likely wild turkey. Clair shared some details about why eating wildlife is so important to her and Andrew.
“We believe in the agile and self-sustainable lifestyle,” Clair said. “Harvesting our own meat means we don’t have to rely on a grocery store. The other thing is that we know exactly how the meat was sourced – in an ethical and respectful way. Also, we love the health benefits of knowing that the meat we harvest has no additives or artificial anything. If there’s anything that’s more challenging or that goes against the status quo, we gravitate towards those things and we’re already exposing our girls to the lifestyle that we’re so proud to follow.”
Photos courtesy of Andrew and Clair Marshall